Inawezekana !!!!!

Jiamini unaweza na ufanye unachoamini!!

Monday, May 28, 2012


Ni kweli kama huna uwezo usikimbilie kuoa? Hebu Tazama mchanganuo huu...!!

1. Kujitambulisha ukweni. Hapo utatakiwa uende kijijini alikozaliwa mkeo mtarajiwa ukajitambulishe huko. Kama mfano mkeo anatokea "Mwanza", na mnaishi Dar, andaa nauli ya watu wawili, malazi kwa siku mbili, na utagharamia shuhuli hiyo ya utambulisho. We tenga 500,000. Hapo tuna assume mkeo atajitegemea. Otherwise 800,000 itakutoka.

2. Kumtambulisha mkeo kwenu. Kama nyie nyumbani ni MOSHI utatakiwa umpeleke huko "Kibosho-Umbwe Onana". Sio umlete hapo Tabata mlipopanga. Hapo sio kwenu! Andaa nauli yako na atakaekusindikiza, nauli ya binti na mwenzie, na gharama za vinywaji na chakula siku hiyo. Utahitaji kama 700,000

3. Kifuatacho ITV ni kuwaalika wakwe zako nyumbani. Uwatoe watu kama nane (Ba Mkwe, Ma Mkwe, Ba Ubatizo, Ma Ubatizo, Mjomba, Shangazi, Kaka mtu na Dada mtu) kutoka Mwanza uwalete Moshi. Wale, walale, wajisaidie, kwa gharama zako. We acha ubishi, tenga 800,000 tu.

4. Kwani we wazazi wako wanajua unakooa? Sasa je? Wasafirishe kwenda Mwanza! Watu watano. Utahitaji kuwa na 500,000. Beba pia ATM card yako, kuna imejensi.

5. MAHARI ndio topic tatanishi inayofuata sasa. Ukiwa mjanja, unganishia kwenye hiyo safari hapo juu uue ndege wawili. Pamoja na hayo, itabidi ubebe 2,000,000.

6. Sasa kijana unaweza kumvisha mchumba wako pete. Nunua ya kawaida kabisa ya dhahabu. 350,000. Tukio lenyewe la kumvisha pete unaweza ita marafiki wawili watatu ukatumia 200,000. Au fanya sherehe kabisa. Mi simo

7. Oke, sasa unaweza kuitisha vikao vya harusi. Tengeneza kadi za mwaliko wa kamati kwa 200,000, kikao cha kwanza gharama zote ni juu yako. Andaa 500,000. Swali la kwanza kwenye kikao: “We una shing ngapi?” Sema 1,000,000.

8. Utahitaji 100,000 ya sms na simu kukumbushia michango. (Shukuru Mungu kuna cheka time)

9. Wakati vikao vinaendelea, utatuma 200,000 kwa m-pesa ili mambo ya kimila yaendelee kule nyumbani. We unaelewa bana!!

10. “Darling, sasa mi kwenye kitchen party ntavaa nini?” 300,000!

11. “Darling, kuna mahali nimeona gauni zuri la send…” 400,000!

12. “Baby, rafiki yangu Maimartha alinunua gauni la harusi China yani lilimpendezajee” 700,000!

13. Wakati huo wewe mwenyewe hujajua utavaa nini, hujanunua pete za harusi, hujamvalisha best man na mkewe. Tuseme unahitaji kama 1,500,000 maana utalia lia sana. Kumbuka, gharama hizi huchangiwi na kamati. Wala hutarudishiwa.

14. Siku ya send off lazma uende Mwanza. Utaenda mwenyewe? Ndugu wawili watatu na mshenga 600,000. Kwenye send off utatakiwa kutoa sijui blanketi la bibi, vitenge vya mashangazi, na vikorokoro kibao. Nunua hivyo vitu 300,000 uende navyo ili kupunguza gharama. Beba 200,000 za wale mashangazi watakaoibuka ghafla!

15. Mshonee baba mkwe suti 100,000 mama mkwe yeye atavaa gauni la 50,000.

16. Fotokopi hiyo hapo juu (namba 15) kwa wazazi wako. 150,000

17. Watu watakaopenda kuvaa sare wajitegemee! Mimi sina hela! Ila utavishonea nguo vile vitoto kwa 80,000.

18. Siku mbili kabla ya harusi, utaanza kupokea wageni. Unatakiwa uwatafutie malazi na chakula. Kwa ujumla utahitaji kama 500,000

19. Jioni watoe auti mashemeji zako ambao hawajawahi kufika Dar ukawanunulie bia ili wakuone wa maana. 200,000

20. Siku ya harusi bibi harusi na mwenzie na watoto na ma maids watatakiwa wakapambwe saluni. 200,000

21. We na mwenzio mtaenda kunyoa hapo kwa nanii. Ndevu na nywele na black kibishi 40,000

22. Siku ya harusi beba sadaka 10,000. Wakati huo umeshamtuma kijana akakulipie hoteli mtakayofikia baada ya harusi. Kamati haitoi hela hiyo, so utalipa malazi ya siku mbili 200,000

23. Kama mtaenda honeymoon sehemu yoyote nzuri nzuri nje ya mji, si chini ya 800,000 kwa angalau siku 3.

24. Wakati uko huko honeymoon, huna hata kumi, mwanakamati mmoja ambae hakuchanga anakupigia simu “Mangi eeeeh, Sasa tunavunja lini kamati?” Pesa yote iliyochangwa ilitumika kwenye harusi, sasa gharama za kuvunja kamati ni za nani?? 500,000!

25. SASA MNAANZA MAISHA YA UNYUMBA. 14,180,000 still poorer.
Posted by Safari at Monday, May 28, 2012 No comments:
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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Just check This !!


GIRL: A, B, C
BOY: What?
GIRL: Always Be Careful
BOY: ahan then?
GIRL: D, E, F, G
BOY : ??
GIRL: Don't Ever Forget That
BOY: ForGet That
GIRL: I'm H, I
BOY: What H, I ?
GIRL: Happilly Inlove
BOY: so
GIRL: J, K, L, M, Just Keep Loving Me
BOY: 'n how about N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z ?
GIRL: No Other Person Quite, Reasonable, Shall Treat U Very Well Xcept me You'll Zee...;
Posted by Safari at Sunday, May 27, 2012 No comments:
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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A True Love Story

   If our brains were computers, we'd simply add a chip to upgrade our memory. The human brain, however, is more complex than even the most advanced machine, so improving our memory isn't quite so easy. Just as it takes effort to build physical fitness, so too does boosting brain power.

FunFunky.com

Sharp and Strong memory is natural desire of every person. Either you are a student,or professional or an aged person.A strong memory depends on the health and vitality of your brain.it is better to do something about it and try to follow given Tips which will definitely help you to enhance your brain memory.
  • Try to adopt a habit of regular exercise because it increases oxygen to your brain and reduces the risk for disorders that lead to memory loss.
  • Proper sleep of at least 6 to 8 hours is essential for proper functioning of brain cells.
  • Make time for friends and fun because smiling and laughters involve multiple regions across the whole brain and have positive effects on brain cells.
  • Reduce the stress level because it has adverse effect on brain cells.
  • Try to intake food which is essential for proper nourishment and growth of brain cells.
  • Fish oil is also effective for improving memory loss. It contains Omega-3 fatty acids that help your brain and body work better. It is also good for improving the body's functioning by helping you think better.Omega-3 fatty acids are found in wild-caught, deep sea fish (wild salmon, tuna, mackerel and herring). Other non-fish sources of omega-3 fatty acids include walnuts, ground flax seed, flax seed oil, pumpkin seeds, and soybeans.
  • B Vitamins improve memory by creating a protective shield for the neurons in the brain. B vitamins break down homocysteine, which is an amino acid that is a toxic poison to nerve cells. These vitamins also help in the production of red blood cells, which carry oxygen, an important brain nutrient.
  • The most important B vitamins for memory include B6, B12, and Folic Acid (B9). You can increase the B vitamins in your diet by taking vitamin supplements and by consuming healthy, natural foods such as spinach and other dark, leafy greens; broccoli, asparagus, strawberries, melons, black beans, leeks, and other legumes, citrus fruits such as oranges and grapefruit, and soybeans.
  • Vitamins C, E, and beta carotene are antioxidants and are also important vitamins for memory. Antioxidants protect brain tissue by breaking down free radicals, which are toxic forms of the oxygen molecule naturally found in the bloodstream.These vitamins can be found in naturally occurring foods such as blueberries, strawberries, and other berries; sweet potatoes, red tomatoes, spinach, broccoli, green tea and other types of tea, nuts and seeds, and citrus fruits such as oranges and grapefruits.
 
Posted by Safari at Wednesday, May 23, 2012 No comments:
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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Equations that Make your Life Meaningful (Joke)

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

 

Posted by Safari at Saturday, May 19, 2012 No comments:
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This story tells us not to be 'too kind' to our bosses...... .. Here it goes:
FunFunky.com



 


There's this Jaga Singh who was working for a multi-millionaire as a house
guard. One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch an early
morning flight to conclude a business deal, Jaga Singh ran out from the
guard house and stopped the millionaire' s car just right in front of the
gate.

He said 'Sir...Sir.. are you going to board a plane?'

'Yes, why?' asked the millionaire.

'You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the
plane going to crash.'

Curious over the early morning fright that Jaga Singh had given, the
multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip. 'You better be damn right for
this is a million dollar deal..'

The following day, there were news reports that the plane which the
millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed. 'Thank God, I
cancelled the trip,.' the rich man said Realising that what Jaga Singh had
said had come true, he called the Singh to see him.

When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his
salary and FIRED him.

WHY ?

Look Down



ANSWER

Jaga Singh was supposed to guard! the house at night. NOT to Sleep and
Dream all night!


So, GO BACK TO WORK!! and Don't try to save your boss's life!! It's not
worth it!!! Always save your own hole first.....!!! !!!!!!
Posted by Safari at Saturday, May 19, 2012 No comments:
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It happens only in India.

 
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Posted by Safari at Saturday, May 19, 2012 No comments:
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      • Ni kweli kama huna uwezo usikimbilie kuoa? Hebu ...
      • Just check This !! GIRL: A, B, CBOY: What?
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